I am a teenager, with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and OCD. I also have many self-diagnosed problems, that I've been to afraid to get checked. The main cause of my problems (other than mental issues) is a tortured childhood, caused by my father. For the last month or two, I've been having persistent nightmares about him. Why am I having them now, after I escaped, and what do I do??
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Answers
Thank you for your opinion. No I do not see a therapist anymore because we cannot afford it. I'm afraid to talk to anyone, even my mother. Because I have done my research, and I'm sure of my diagnosis. And if I get truly diagnosed by a professional, people will think I'm crazy. I plan to go to a good college and get a job as a forensic scientist with a police department. My problems would get in the way, it may be illegal to discriminate, but people still do it. Besides, I hate going to therapists, I just can't connect with them, and it hurts to talk about.
Well, I can understand that things hurt to talk about them. However, if you don't talk about them, they will never get better. You cannot deal with issues by forcing them down or hiding them. They will always resurface sooner or later, sadly.
I hope you do get into a good college and become a forensic scientist.
People are not as strange about therapy as they used to be, even though, truthfully, they still are somewhat. Please seek help when you can. Others do not have to know you are seeing a professional to diagnose yourself.
Best,
Clyde
Ruyeen, you have to have expert help with this, whether you feel you can afford it or not. Now that you are in a safe place, you feel you can allow the memories. Before, while you were still being abused, it wasn't safe to face them, you were focusing on survival.
There are many books on the results of abuse, and I hope you will read them all. Is there a library nearby where you can check them out for free?
Contact your local health department, or the social worker through the local hospital (both contacts are no charge.) Find out about free counseling in your area, and find a therapist to help you begin this journey of healing.
Best wishes
drjean
Often when you start to feel safer physically the emotions start to come out. Men who have been in the war often suffer from nightmares after they get home.
Thankfully there are some really good treatments for PTSD and people who have been traumatized as kids. You are right that people still do discriminate against people who's brains are ill but it might help you to know that your responses makes total sense. The reason you have nightmares is because trauma memories are sort of "stuck" unlike other memories which go away over time. Your brain is trying to make sense of them and process what happened but it can feel like it is happening now. Talking about what happened, journal about it, or doing anything to move the trauma memory out will help if you can't get counseling. It might help to set aside a specific day and short period of time each week to think about what happened.. It will help teach your brain to hold the emotions until then.
It is sort of hard to do therapy on yourself but there are some really good books and articles about trauma and how to deal with it. Sadly many children are abused growing up but the good news is that most people actually will be okay even without counseling so be gentle with yourself. Reassure your brain before you go to bed that you are safe now. Look for some support groups that don't cost as much as therapy.
Hi there Ruyeen...
I am sorry to hear you are having nightmares about your Dad. It surely means that you are stressed out about it (the past) still.
Can you (or do you) still see a therapist? It may be a lot of help, if you mention it to them. With the issues you have going on, you do seem to have a lot of things to worry about anyways.
You mention self-diagnosed--if you get those checked out by a T or a MD, you may be able to get to feel better about all of those, and perhaps all of the other stuff you are going through, such as the dreams.
Dreams are a lot of the time a manifest of our daily lives...so, from what I gather, you (rightly so) are still stressed out from your past experiences...talking about them to your T and finding ways to deal with the past may help to eliminate those dreams.
Best,
Clyde