I've been trying for weeks to get the courage to tell my mom that i need help. Professional help. I just so afraid of what she will say. Or worse, what she would think. She will probably think “Oh great i have another fucked up kid to deal with.” I want to tell her these things but i can’t seem to find the words to do so. She will ask me details of whats wrong. And i’ll have to tell her that i am having suicidal thoughts again and have been burning myself again. I can just see the look on her face right now. Disappointment which will be barely masked by sadness. She might send me away. Maybe that will be a good thing. To be able to get away from everything.everyone. I’m also just so scared she will think i am only doing this for attention or because my older bother went through the same thing. How he was in and out of rehab a few times. I am just hurting on the inside and i can't remember the last time i actually felt happy. Sometimes i feel like i am okay and that i am happy then something happens to sen me off again. My boyfriend and i just broke up and that threw me off even worse then i was. It made it ten times worse. I can't talk to my friends about this because they say i'm not trying hard enough to be happy or they just plain don't understand. Sometimes i want to eat like a ton of food and some days i can't even bring myself to look at food. sometimes i sleep of hours. I mean like i fall asleep at 11 and wake up at nine but am psychically unable to get up out of bed. But then some nights i don't sleep at all and i am just wake mind racing unable to calm my wandering thoughts. I'm not suicidal i just have suicidal thoughts. I'm to afraid to actually go through with it.


Answers


Chemar
765 days ago
Hi there

what you are enduring now is far worse than any reaction your mom could have.

Please do tell her and seek help.

Has your brother been given any diagnosis?



bella
765 days ago
Hi - I'm sorry you're so depressed but I agree you should explain this to your mom. How about you write her a letter, explaining you're worried about disappointing her. When you tell her about the suicidal thoughts, make sure you tell her you're not actively considering it.

Often depression runs in families. Explain you'd rather get help, than resort to substance abuse like your brother. The self injury is a dysfunctional way of you trying to cope. Make sure she agrees to get you professional help and I hope it gets better for you.



panda86
765 days ago
Hello,

I went through a similar situation when I was a teenager. I was afraid to tell my mom because I love her very much and I did not want to hurt her. I also was frightened that she would send me away. I did not want her to think it was her fault. It was not, I was just having a hard time dealing with my emotions and I am chemically depressed. I did eventually tell her and I started to see a therapist. I sat down with my mom and explained to her all of the things I had been going through. We had a long conversation and she was sad that I was hurting, but our relationship grew from that experience. Things are much better now, and I found a medication that works well for me. I know the conversation will be difficult, but your mom probably already suspects that something is very wrong and I am sure she will want to do whatever she can to help you. Just be frank with her and let her know that you are coming to her because you know you need help and you are ready to make changes. I find it admirable that you want to get help, and I am sure she will too.

Good luck and it does get better.



Emma
762 days ago
I am just like you. I didnt know how to tell my mom either. But then one day I just went and asked my mom if we can talk and she said yes. So I told here and she told me that at some point in someones life there depressed.



Chemar
761 days ago
Emma, I am glad you told your mom and she is correct that we all get depressed at some time or another in life....BUT there is a big difference between occasional depressed feelings and someone who is clinically depressed. For some people, depression becomes so intense that they are unable to function normally. That is why it is always a good idea to discuss any persistent bouts of depression with a healthcare professional. Moms are great :) and often just a word and a hug from them is enough...but sometimes it needs more than dr Mom!



TemporaryHeart
760 days ago
You need to sit down and tell your mom everything you just told us. In my experience, if your mother already dealt with a child who had a similar experience she will be more understanding. I know you're worried about hurting her, but don't you think she'd be more hurt and disappointed if she found out what's going on and you didn't tell her? And what if things get worse and you carry out with your suicidal thoughts? Imagine how hurt she'll be then. Your mom can get you the help you need.



Jene
758 days ago
If you stay negative, it would be difficult to get proper help even if someone tries to. Just try to be a little positive, ask yourself what is the actual reason you're feeling that way, talk to your Mom, she has certainly got more experience than you and would try to help in any way possible.



Dangeredman808
757 days ago
Wow man, i feel for you because I can relate in some way. You can just cry about it because there is nothing wrong. I know what helped me ,in a way, was learning to put my thoughts down on paper which doesn't always mean you look to those papers to get even more sad, but it could work over time and you can see the tone of your writing to lighten up. And if you have a faith you can pray about it whole-heartedly because you can pour your heart out and feel better. Find someone to talk to like a trusted friend or relative because this situation alone of deciding what to do needs some words of encouragement and consoling conversations. Now getting back to the topic. I can see you're a caring person wanting other people around you to not get hit hard, but this is considering you, not your brother or your mom and it'd be best to talk it out with her whether she listens or turns a deaf ear. I think you need help from a professional. Also, more on the silly side if you have unused china i found out the sound of the breaking of plates helps make me feel batter and it might help you too.