Hi Shaz1, since I'm not a doctor, I don't know about medications. I think you should ask you doctor and explain about your fears(of meds) and see if he/she could suggest a med. with the least side affects. I think you should give the medication a try and keep going for the therapy. I hope you find relief soon Shaz, Bella

You sound like such a nice young lady. Sometimes there doesn't have to be a good reason to be depresed. There are many different kinds of depression. For example there's circumstantial depression - this is when a normally happy person has alot of bad things happening around them. Then there's depression where the person can't pinpoint any legitimate reasons and they're just sad. This could be due to a chemical imbalance in their brain. Please don't feel embarassed because mental illness is the same as any other illness. This doesn't mean that your mom some how failed at being a good mom. I think you should gently tell your mom exactly what you told us here an emphasize, that it's not your mother's fault. Tell her you want to see a doctor. Make sure you're eating healthy and exercising regularly because this can make a huge difference in your mood. I don't recommend staying in your room alot or being on he computer. Our bodies are designed to move and when we're not exercising or eating healthy - this can make our bodies off balance. If you had an infection you would go to a doctor and depression is a sickness that needs treatment the same as any other illness. Best of luck in telling your mom and getting help. Hugs, Bella

So sorry you lost your mom to cancer. It's wonderful to be very attached to a parent but not to the point where you have difficulty functioning if they die. Have you consulted with a doctor for the panic attacks? I don't believe the hives are related to the panic attack - you should be tested if they come back again. If you haven't received treatment, please go to your doctor - medication and therapy can be very helpful. Many times when a parent passes, we start to think about our own mortatily - this can make us worried about ourselves and our family members. It very important that you don;t transfer your fears onto your daughter. You can teach your daughter about playing safely and then just let her play - children need a little reasonable freedom Have you tried deep breathing exercises - you can make this part of your daily routine or anytime you feel stressed. When you get the feelings, try not to resist them - because this makes them worse and you get caught up in the cycle of fear. The more you resist the stronger they become. Just do some slow deep breathing - from your stomach, not your upper chest. You can also filter your thoughts by asking yourself if this is a reasonable or unreasonable fear. The way I look at it, is we're all going to die someday - yes we need to live and follow reasonable safety precautions but you can let the worry prevent you from the pleasure of daily living. You can't live happy when you're in a constant state of fear. Please make an appointment with your doctor and best of luck, Bella

Hi bella, I've consulted a doctor about this but Im scared of medication, I don't think I'm depressed, just realy troubled by my paranoia. I've tried psychotherapy but has just come to an end, the therapy helped me I'm many ways but the paranoia seems like it's never going to leave me. I worked through some trust issues and identified where a lot of that comes from. Before I entered into psychotherapy, when I caught myself having these paranoid thoughts, I would turn them in on myself saying like I hate you and constantly curse my self. It was really disturbing as it became very vocal and seemed like I had no control over it. I still do this from time to time but feel like I can control it a bit better. The doctor didn't tell me it was caused buy drug abuse, I just feel along with my dificult life experance it is partly responsible. What kind of drugs tend to be used for paranoia, do you know?

Thanks! I googled it and I added it to my bookmarks for easy reference. Thanks for all your help.

Hi. I just want to say I understand some of what you are going through. My therapist is on vacation for the holiday but for a shorter amount of time than yours. And I do feel a lot of anxiety knowing that I have to rely a bit on myself and what I have learned. Ironically my psychiatrist cancelled my appointment as well this week, I guess he is not going to be in, but that does not bother me nearly as much as not being able to see my therapist. You said you felt like maybe your therapist was trying to tell you that you are done with therapy. Sometimes fears get big and irrational. I know mine do. But hopefully your therapist is very responsible and caring. It is a shame that you were planning on having her help during the holiday and did not get to fully plan for her absence. Maybe when she comes back you can talk to her about how it would have helped to be able to plan and have some strategies. I just wanted to tell you that I understand and I hope you do well while she is away. All my best, Junie.

my (adult) son has ADD and has actually found supplements better than meds (he doesnt have hyperactivity tho) he used flaxseed oil (fishoil is best if you tolerate it) and Borage oil along with gingko biloba. really helped him with focus, concentration, distraction etc as well as memory retention

so when you were dating before marriage did you explain to your husband - this is not directed to the orig poster necessarily - that sex was distasteful? If so - then he needs to live with it. If not - I would suggest getting a divorce since he has been living a lie. I suppose he could hook up with girlfriend since divorce is expensive for men. That is a smart alek remark but in reality this is what happens. there is more to this post - does your husband provide for the family to your satisfaction? , is he a good father to your child(ren)? no one is responsible for your happiness? Forget about couple's therapy - you need to work on yourself and be a honest partner. Sex in the confines of marriage is perfectly normal. However, not every woman is marriage or parent material.

You have alot of responsibility being a single mom and also being supportive for your mom and sister. How old are your children? Sometimes I think there's too much pressure on women especially at Christmas time. Don't beat yourself up about the time the presents were in the trunk - even Santa makes mistakes LOL. I think Christmas has got out of hand with all the emphasis on gifts and trying to have that perfect Christmas. With the bad economy, maybe you can explain to your children, that there won't be as many gifts as before. Try to organize, pace yourself and keep things as simple as possible. I can understand now why you need to talk to your therapist because you're required to be the strong one. You are welcome to post here and share yor feelings. :) Bella

Have you consulted a doctor about this or been on medication? I understand how upsetting this must be and the first instinct is to try to resist it and this usually makes things worse. Is it possible for you to let the thoughts come without getting upset and try to relax with some deep breathing exercises. Once you're relaxed, you can then filter the thoughts and ask yourself if these are reasonable or not. If you have consulted a doctor, do they agree it's from drug usage? Best of luck, Bella

A couple of years ago the kids were up all excited to see presents under the tree and waited 3 hours for me to wake up. The presents were in the trunk. I feel bad about that every year now. Being a single mom this time of year is beyond stressful and lonely. I live payday to payday and get anxious and worried about getting presents. I worry about the kids because their dad forgets to call. I have a sister who has serious mental illnesses and has only me and my mother at Christmas. It's a couple of hours we spend together every year that's hard on me emotionally and financially. My sister has no one and I have to give her presents and my mom is a very isolated person. Every year I feel terrible thinking about them just sitting at home all day long with nobody around. I could go on and on. I'm sorry I don't want to keep complaining. Thanks for letting me vent.

Hi Junie, I've tried several times to post a message giving you a link to an online program called "how to stop worrying" but it won't let me post the link. If you type into google "Mastering your worries" this should bring up the program. It's essentially the same as going to your own therapist in learning to deal with worrying and I think this would be very beneficial to you. I hope this helps.

That's good you recognize that and it's important to do a gradual detachment where you both agree. The whole idea of therapy is to guide the patient along with support and gradually teach them to depend on themselves. I know the holidays are hard, especially when you have kids and they're so thrilled about Christmas and the adults are left feeling pressured. What bothers you the most about Christmas?

I definately need some coping strategies and need to learn to detach from her and from therapy in general. I've really got to be independent and break this tie I feel with her. Leaving therapy is as bad, if not worse, than the conditions that brought me there in the first place. I wish I could just detach completely, today.

I think you need a back up plan for those times when your therapist is on vacation. You can talk to us here or call a crisis line. You can also write down all your feelings in a journal. It's also not healthy to be too attached to your therapist and you need to start finding your own coping strategies. Many people do become more depressed during the holidays - what do you think would help you to feel less stressed during the holidays? Best fo luck, Bella

Sometimes as women, we get caught up in the hectic life of taking care of our kids, husband and the house - we forget to take care of ourselves. Are you under alot of stress? Post partum depression can appear up to 3 yrs after having a baby. If may be depression so please consult your doctor. If you're a stay at home mom - sometimes they struggle with their self identity - meaning are they more than just a caregiver. Make sure you're eating healthy and exercising.

Since you've never experienced a romantic relationship yet I think you may have taken his flirting more seriously than he intended. You were hoping you would finally get to date him and when it didn't turn out, you felt disappointed. Some people like to play around with flirting, never expecting it to go anywhere. I don't think you should go to his place of employment - that's a little obsessive. I think you simply took his flirting to heart and sorry it didn't work out. Hopefully realizing it was light hearted will help you with the fixation you have. Good luck, Bella

How long have you been feeling like this? are you unmotivated? constatnly feeling lonely and worthless? crying more then normal? feeling like you;ve failed in life and no one cares about you?

I think you should talk to him first to determine what is going and what type of relationship he has with her. Don't jump to conclusions but your first instinct is usually correct. Tell him to be truthful. If he really is there for you he will be and don't let there friendship contiue unless you are introduced to this girl as his women stand your ground! your worth it,

Honestly, dont be worried. It is likely he was just elated after seeing his friend's baby and kinda going with the momentary feeling. Just back off from the whole subject and move forward. Once you know whether you are or are not pregnant from the other night, then, if not, maybe go back on your contraceptive and just wait a while re babies. You are both still very young and you need to enjoy the beginning of your married life together. If you are pregnant Ihopefully he will be happy and you will move ahead with your wedding plans. But you need to try to understand that he is rethinking not marrying you and having a baby, but rather the immediacy of being a dad. For a 23yo guy, that can actually be scary prospect! just try to let it go for now and rather focus on just helping him feel relaxed and happy to be with you

I'm 20 soon and he's 23 we've been togther over a year and half and we was discussin only a few weeks back arranging a wedding date then suddenly he sits me down and says I saw my mates kid and he told me its great being a dad and I want to start a family, i was shocked I said are you sure and he said he is and he wouldnt of said it if he wasnt and he wnt take it back, but now he's sayin he doesn;t want to rush into it but if i do get pregnant then its fine, it's really making me feel low because since he's said he wants a baby its all i can think about

Thanks Chemar!

Hi, you havent mentioned your ages...but especially if you are both young, it may mean he is having second thoughts or concerns as to whether you and he are ready for the commitment that parenthood involves. It may be wise to just take a step back, and not push this as it sounds to me like he is feeling pressured and the thought of having to have sex just to make a baby may be putting him off too. I guess I am kinda old fashioned but I would personally suggest that you wait until after you have been married for a while before you start considering a family. Enjoy each other first. Having a child is one of life's greatest blessings, but it does change your life dramatically. it may well be that your fiance has realized this and really doesnt want to share you yet.

Hello, we dont do dream analysis here but I would think that your wife is dreaming about a baby because that is a deep desire for both of you. Dreams usually reflect our subconscious or things we have been exposed to. I hope your desire to have a baby will be fulfilled

Has she ever had desire for sex before she met you? There is a classification of people who are Asexual - they just don't have desire or want sex. Have the doctor check her testosterone levels - not just men have testosterone, women also have it and if it's low this can affect desire. I think the important question here is - has she ever had a postive sexual experience with you or anyone? Best of luck, Bella.