Hello
I have been with my husband for 3 years now, we have been married for over a year. i met him when i was 21 and since then we have had our ups and downs but we are generally happy and so in love.
After we got married we moved to a small town so i'm far from my family and friends, i work full time so i'm pretty much busy but the thing is i havent been able to make friends here and so we spend our time always together.
Problem is whenever my husband is on playstation, or computer (either chatting or working), or on phone for more than an hour i get really angry (i dont normally say anything to him until he finishes and so all my angry keeps building up). Once he is finished i explode, i start shouting and he even if he tries to say sorry i push him away. i cant seem to be able to control what i say which upsets him. i can understand that he needs time to himself but ones i hear playstation/phone/computer an alarm goes off in my head (happens quite regularly) as i hate them so much... i really need to control my anger cos he really doesnt deserve it, i love him to bits and really dont want to hurt him
I have been with my husband for 3 years now, we have been married for over a year. i met him when i was 21 and since then we have had our ups and downs but we are generally happy and so in love.
After we got married we moved to a small town so i'm far from my family and friends, i work full time so i'm pretty much busy but the thing is i havent been able to make friends here and so we spend our time always together.
Problem is whenever my husband is on playstation, or computer (either chatting or working), or on phone for more than an hour i get really angry (i dont normally say anything to him until he finishes and so all my angry keeps building up). Once he is finished i explode, i start shouting and he even if he tries to say sorry i push him away. i cant seem to be able to control what i say which upsets him. i can understand that he needs time to himself but ones i hear playstation/phone/computer an alarm goes off in my head (happens quite regularly) as i hate them so much... i really need to control my anger cos he really doesnt deserve it, i love him to bits and really dont want to hurt him
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Answers
Lilian, good communication is key to a good marriage. That you had so many changes with the marriage also makes it difficult to adjust.
Sit down and tell him what you just told us here. See what his reaction is, and if he is open to trying to change some things for you.
I can see why you would feel angry, it appears you've given up everything for this marriage, with little in return. See if the two of you can work this out so you aren't feeling so neglected and unfulfilled.
TC
drjean
Hi Lilian,
Exactly what Jean said. Good communication is ALWAYS vital to a good marriage. I went to church today, and a couple there is having their 69th wedding anniversary today! 69! The only way they have been married this long, surely, is through good communication and love.
The way I see it, you are angry because you care for and love him. I know you want more to the marriage than you are getting.
If you discuss it with him and get some talking behind you, it may help you both tremendously.
Best,
Clyde