MY BOYFRIEND OF 8 MONTHS COMITTED SUICIDE ON NOVEMBER OF LAST YEAR. AS YOU CAN IMAGINE THIS HIT ME REALLY HARD AND I FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS OVER. IT MADE ME SAD TO KNOW THAT I COULDNT DO ANYTHIN TO HELP HIM AND THAT HE WOULDNT STAY FOR ME. NOW I THINK I UNDESTAND HIM. I HAVE NEVER HAD SUICIDAL TOUGHTS BUT I DO FEEL WORTHLESS AND LONELY OFTEN. I MET A GUY WHEN I WAS GOING THROUHG THIS AND REALLY FELT LOVE AND INDERSTOOD I DECIDED TO BE WITH HIM AND GIVE HIM A CHANCE I REALLY CARE FOR HIM BUT I DONT THINK I CAN SAY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM (I KNOW IT TAKES TIME ANYWAY). MY ISSUE NOW IS THE GULT OF BEING WITH SOMEONE AFTER ONLY 6 MONTHS OF MY BF'S DEATH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT I COULDNT HELP HIM AND GIVE HIM A REASON FOR NOT DOING WHAT HE DID. NOW I, MYSELF HAVE SOME ISSUES I STILL CRY OVER HIM AND I MISS HIM I HAVE DONE THINGS THAT I DONT THINK ARE VERY HEALTHY AS DRINKING AND GETTING MAD WHENEVER SOMEONE BRINGS HIM UP.
MY FAMILY AND FRINENDS POINT OUT THAT I HAVE CHANGED ALOT SINCE THIS HAPPENED...
DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?
SHOULD I ATTEND THERAPY?
AM I DOING WRONG IN HAVING SOMEONE NEW?
MY FAMILY AND FRINENDS POINT OUT THAT I HAVE CHANGED ALOT SINCE THIS HAPPENED...
DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?
SHOULD I ATTEND THERAPY?
AM I DOING WRONG IN HAVING SOMEONE NEW?
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Answers
((((Low)))) my heart aches for you in what you have experienced in your life. We can't fully understand why someone takes their own life, but we do know it's because they have lost all hope. Often they also feel like a burden to those close to them, no matter what you say or what the truth is. Once someone truly decides, it's nearly impossible to prevent it.
What part of your friend's suicide means that you aren't needing another close friend? His bailing on life doesn't mean you aren't human. You are human, and you do need others in your life. I think you could add to your support team and a therapist would be a good selection!
You have legitimate grief and you need to mourn, not drown your memories in alcohol, as you said. You must have been a great friend, to have been so deeply affected. You can heal. Try and take the good of the time you were together, and add it to your life.
Best wishes
drjean
Hi there Lowrarkzurwrld:
I would definitely see if I could find a therapist to talk to about these issues.
I dont really think you are in the wrong about seeing someone new. It was your idea as well, so you have to take care of yourself and your own feelings too.
It is sad that he did what he did, yet you have to live your life too. Its not that I feel that you have to live with a new boyfriend or whatever, but I do think it wouldnt hurt to see a therapist and talk to them about your issues.
I really hope it gets well for you.
Best,
Clyde
Lowrarkzurwrld,
I certainly don't think you're in the wrong in seeing someone new, but it does look like you could benefit from seeing a therapist. Losing someone to suicide is a very traumatic experience and from your post it looks like it's effected you tremendously.
Also you should under no circumstances blame yourself for the actions he took. It wasn't your fault. It may be hard for you to think that because of survivor's guilt, but it wasn't your fault.
All the best,
Tarina.
thanks for your answer on my post any little help means the world to me right now.