I'VE HAD A ROCKY ROAD WITH RELATIONSHIPS, I ALWAYS FIND MEN WHO ARE ABUSIVE TO ME BUT WHEN I FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I WAS ABUSIVE TO HIM. SEE I HAVE M.P.D. AND WHEN MY BOYFRIEND AND I BECAME IN ANY WAY SEXUAL I WOULD SWITCH AND MY ANGRY PART WOULD COME OUT, NORMALLY SHE WOULD JUST YELL AT HIM BUT THIS ONE TIME SHE HIT HIM AND KICKED HIM OUT OF MY HOUSE. WE WERE SUPPOSED BE BE GOING ON ARE FIRST TRIP ALONE TOGETHER THAT WEEKEND OUT OF TOWN BUT WHEN I CALLED HIM THE NEXT DAY HE WOULDN'T ANSWER MY CALLS AND I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY AS WHEN I SWITCH I HAVE NO MEMORY OF IT SO I DIDN'T KNOW MY ANGRY PART HAD HIT HIM AND KICKED HIM OUT.
HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME ALL TOGETHER AND WE HAD BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS, HE'S THE MOST WONDERFUL,CARING MAN I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH. I WAS ABUSED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE AND HE WAS ALWAYS SO GENTLE WITH ME AND HE TOOK THINGS REAL SLOW. WELL I HAVE TO ADMIT I HATE SEX DUE TO BEING ABUSED SO IN THAT DEPARTMENT I ALWAYS FAILED HIM BUT BESIDES THE SEX AND ME SWITCHING DURING SEX WE HAD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
AFTER ABOUT 6 MONTHS OF BEING APART (WHICH KILLED ME)HE NOW WANTS TO BE FRIENDS BUT ONLY FRIENDS AND I WANT SO MUCH MORE. WE WERE SO CLOSE AND I MISS THAT. WE DON'T SEE MUCH OF EACH OTHER AS "FRIENDS" MAYBE ONCE EVERY 3 MONTHS AND IT'S KILLING ME. WE'VE BEEN APART NOW FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS AND I STILL LOVE HIM AND I KNOW HE STILL LOVES ME, HE HASN'T BEEN WITH ANYONE EXCEPT SOME OLD CHIC HE DATED FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS (I THINK HE WAS JUST TRYING TO PUNISH ME)
HE BROKE UP WITH HER A LONG TIME AGO AND HASN'T BEEN WITH ANYONE SINCE. WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER HE'S ALWAYS HUGGING ME REAL TIGHT AND HE TELLS ME HOW MUCH HE MISSES ME BUT HE DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT TO COME BACK TO ME. I CRY ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF IT'S RIGHT FOR ME TO WANT HIM BACK AFTER ONE OF MY PARTS HIT HIM, I CAN'T BE SURE IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN IF WE BECAME SEXUAL AND I WASN'T READY, HECK I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE READY FOR SEX, I JUST HATE IT, BUT IS IT FARE FOR ME TO EXPECT HIM TO COME BACK IF I DON'T WANT A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP?
VERY SAD AND MISSING HIM.
HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME ALL TOGETHER AND WE HAD BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS, HE'S THE MOST WONDERFUL,CARING MAN I HAVE EVER BEEN WITH. I WAS ABUSED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE AND HE WAS ALWAYS SO GENTLE WITH ME AND HE TOOK THINGS REAL SLOW. WELL I HAVE TO ADMIT I HATE SEX DUE TO BEING ABUSED SO IN THAT DEPARTMENT I ALWAYS FAILED HIM BUT BESIDES THE SEX AND ME SWITCHING DURING SEX WE HAD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
AFTER ABOUT 6 MONTHS OF BEING APART (WHICH KILLED ME)HE NOW WANTS TO BE FRIENDS BUT ONLY FRIENDS AND I WANT SO MUCH MORE. WE WERE SO CLOSE AND I MISS THAT. WE DON'T SEE MUCH OF EACH OTHER AS "FRIENDS" MAYBE ONCE EVERY 3 MONTHS AND IT'S KILLING ME. WE'VE BEEN APART NOW FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS AND I STILL LOVE HIM AND I KNOW HE STILL LOVES ME, HE HASN'T BEEN WITH ANYONE EXCEPT SOME OLD CHIC HE DATED FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS (I THINK HE WAS JUST TRYING TO PUNISH ME)
HE BROKE UP WITH HER A LONG TIME AGO AND HASN'T BEEN WITH ANYONE SINCE. WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER HE'S ALWAYS HUGGING ME REAL TIGHT AND HE TELLS ME HOW MUCH HE MISSES ME BUT HE DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT TO COME BACK TO ME. I CRY ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF IT'S RIGHT FOR ME TO WANT HIM BACK AFTER ONE OF MY PARTS HIT HIM, I CAN'T BE SURE IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN IF WE BECAME SEXUAL AND I WASN'T READY, HECK I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE READY FOR SEX, I JUST HATE IT, BUT IS IT FARE FOR ME TO EXPECT HIM TO COME BACK IF I DON'T WANT A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP?
VERY SAD AND MISSING HIM.
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Answers
(((AnnMarie))) You might be right that you may never be ready for sex. I think you need to accept his offer of friendship, and work on that. Maybe once your others realize he is a friend, they will also grow with the relationship. Perhaps one thinks that sexual intercourse is only for married people??? Of course, the fact that you are DID (formerly called MPD) makes us realize that you have had trauma in your life.
I hope you are in therapy for your disorder, and through that and hard work, you can possibly find a way to have a long, loving relationship in the future.
Good wishes
drjean
Hi Ann Marie,
Being friends is not always a bad place to be either. Hopefully, after time, he realizes how important and good you are for him.
Best,
Clyde