We have been put out of our family for speaking the truth about child verbal abuse within our family. The mother has refused joint counseling and the kids are left without a loving Uncle and Aunt they've known all their lives. We're at a loss and would like to know if anyone else knows how to reach out when the door has been shut.
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Answers
Hi Littlewing,
Sorry to hear what has happened with your family...are you the Uncle or Aunt?
I really wish I had an answer for you, myself. The best thought I can give you at the moment is to try and make sure you yourself (as Uncle and Aunt) do not close any doors yourself in their hopeful "coming around".
Best,
Clyde
Yes, we are the Aunt and Uncle. We have asked for family counseling with the Mother's therapist. The Mother states that her therapist says that she can't be objective because the Mother is her client and has refused family therapy.
I have a hard time believing that. We just continue to state that all communication is open. The kids are hurting, we are hurting, and their Mother won't allow anyone around for fear of what I don't know ... but I think she has something to hide. Why not talk openly?
Littlewing, I'm sorry you're in this situation. But glad that you called attention to this very prevalent problem!
Yes, the mother is correct in that you really couldn't enter into family therapy with the therapist that is "hers." That therapist has entered into an agreement to advocate for her, in her (the mom's) own best interest, and would not be able to properly counsel all of you.
Now, that doesn't mean that you couldn't have an occasional session together, however, it appears that the mother does not wish to do that at this point.
None of her actions (or inactions) mean that you can't find a therapist for yourselves, and begin the process of feeling good about what your role is (if any) in this issue.
Some people can't handle the truth, and when it comes to child abuse, it is really tough for some to face it. As you probably know, it's not a surface issue, but strikes at the very core of a person.
Hope this helps!
drjean
ok now c this is tough becuz there really is nothing you can do techinacly speaking now i know how it is being a kid in this position myself you did nothing wrong you cant blame your self now yes the doors have been shut but you can open them especially with the topic you brought up if child abuse or neglect is a factor there is many things you can do and yes some family members may hate you but in the end will relize tht you did wht you have to my mom would not let my uncle see me for long time cuz he was against my parents methods of descipline so he went as far as getting human services involve my mom has recently gave in and he is now able to come around again no body should be kept from seeing there family members i hope this gives u some idea's