I am insanely jealous of an acquaintance. Everything I do is colored by my jealousy of her. She is the first and last thing I think about everyday. I know jealousy stems from low self esteem and I am working on that. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with this obsessive jealousy...besides avoiding her because that, unfortunately, is not an option?
A place to come to ask and answer questions from others on mental health and relationship issues.
Copyright © 1992-2008 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Answers
Hi Ingrid! It sounds like she isn't a friend or a good acquaintane, from how you phrase this. Could she be? Sometimes what we like in others (thus the jealousy) can be a great friend building foundation. One way to make a friend is to compliment them. Maybe by doing so, your relationship will ease up some, and you can see that she isn't "better" than you in all things, and you are just as good in many things too!
tc
drjean
Me too! There's this girl in school I am jealous of she just seems so perfect and has everything I want. I simply tell myself all the good things about me and try to have a positive attitude. Dont let some chick get in the way of your life. Just smile at her and dont let her bother you. Smile, say hey and be friendly. Everyone was put on this earth and is special in their own way you just have to find yourself.
I think jealousy is an indication of what we want in life. For instance, if you're jealous of someone who seems incredibly popular, it could mean that you'd like to be as friendly and well-liked as she is. The thing to remember is that you can never judge anyone else's life from the outside. Your acquaintance has her own problems to bear that no one else can see. But meanwhile, now you know what you want in life. She probably doesn't actually have those qualities or things as much as you imagine; but the important point is that it's not about her. It's about what you feel is lacking in your life. Take some steps to be and have some of what you'd like, and the jealousy may fade.
Instead of focusing on this girl you are jealous of, you need to focus on yourself. Find out what you like about yourself and whats going good for you. When you think about those things, it will keep your mind off of what you think you should have. Eventually you will become completely content with what you already have. Remember that everyone is different and what is good for one person may not be good for another. Also remember that you most likely have things that she may wish she had. good luck!
Hi there...yes, talk to her, see how she is. Everyone is not as perfect or as straight lined as we think...behind every locked door, or every room, there is someone who has secrets or issues that we don't know of.
You may want to also talk to your friends, family or a T to help you with your self-esteem issues.
You can go far, you just have to believe!
Best,
Clyde