A year and a half ago I was sexually assaulted by my friend's boyfriend. I had already been depressed for years leading up to this. I've had a lot of suicidal tendencies in my lifetime but I could never do it, especially after my cousin did so several years ago and it was devastating for my entire family.
The real problem is that the guy who assaulted me shows up at my school often. This almost always causes the panic attacks I've mentioned before. Thanks to some of the help I've gotten here I've got some control over my panic attacks, but I don't know how to deal with seeing this guy on a day to day basis.
My logical brain tells me to press charges against him, but it's my word against him and I have no proof. And when I told my father what happened, he got really mad and it seemed as if he blamed me for what happened. There's just no way for me to avoid this guy unless I dropped out of school and that's just not an option for me.
He was eighteen and I was fifteen when all of this happened. I'm sixteen now, and all of this is just too much and I really don't know what to do about it. Can someone please help me?
The real problem is that the guy who assaulted me shows up at my school often. This almost always causes the panic attacks I've mentioned before. Thanks to some of the help I've gotten here I've got some control over my panic attacks, but I don't know how to deal with seeing this guy on a day to day basis.
My logical brain tells me to press charges against him, but it's my word against him and I have no proof. And when I told my father what happened, he got really mad and it seemed as if he blamed me for what happened. There's just no way for me to avoid this guy unless I dropped out of school and that's just not an option for me.
He was eighteen and I was fifteen when all of this happened. I'm sixteen now, and all of this is just too much and I really don't know what to do about it. Can someone please help me?
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Answers
Can you let the school know that you feel uncomfortable around him? Perhaps they can help devise a plan to keep the two of you separated?
If you feel that you should press charges, even if there is no way to prove it, then I would say do it, but then you also must realize if you do, and there is no way to prove it, then you are stuck where you were.
Why would your Dad be mad at you?
Perhaps also there are friends and/or family members (other than your Dad) with whom you can discuss a safety plan or a plan on not being around this guy much at all.
I hope that the school is able to help you. Discuss it with a trusted teacher or the principal/superintendent, perhaps they can help you.
Best,
Clyde
Consider visiting the RAINN.org website's online counseling for support http://www.rainn.org/ohl-bridge.php or call 1.800.656.HOPE.
I'm sorry your father did not support you. Sexual assault is a crime. Also the fact you were raped by an adult makes it also a child sexual abuse crime. It was definitely not your fault. A lot of people are ignorant of sex crimes because as a society we just don't talk about it and hope it goes away. The reality of it is . . . we must talk about it to protect and help the innocent.
This is why I first mention you seek help through RAINN.org. They are the experts. They know how to help you. They offer free counseling and will support you in your decisions and direct you to resources to help you. Most importantly, they are there for you when you have a panic attack. Just grab a phone and call 1.800.656.HOPE and tell them you are scared and just need to hear a friendly voice.
I think you could put a restraining order on the perpetrator. You may not have to go into too many details except that he threats your safety. Maybe a school counselor could help you with this? But I don't know.
I hope you contact RAINN.org. I think it's a step in the right direction for anyone sexually assaulted.
Tarina, I'm sorry that your dad gave you a poor response. (((hugs))) Why not go ahead and talk to someone about this? It sounds like you haven't somewhat because of the response your dad gave you, and you might feel partially "responsible." Don't buy into that!
Talk to your school counselor, or even the principle, please! If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for other girls who this guy will prey upon in the future. You might have a tough road with this, but I think you will anyway whether you only seek treatment for yourself, or if you also turn this guy in. So why not feel good about yourself and turn the perp in? That would be the right thing, if you can find enough strength to do so. (This is one reason why a school principle could help immensely; he/she has the power you don't.)
Best wishes; let us know what you do, ok?
drjean
It's difficult for somebody who hasn't experienced sexual assault to understand what the victim endured in and outside the assault. Sorry you have to deal with this, especially on a daily basis. I agree with everybody above that maybe there is somebody else you can trust enough to express this too and maybe they can give you advice on what you should do and where you should begin. You shouldn't have to live with this burden on your shoulders.