It is hard for me to be around people in a social setting. My palms sweat, my voice shakes—it seems like I never say or do the right thing. Sometimes it feels like I am a bystander just watching while everybody else is having fun. It helps me relax if I have a couple drinks before I go out, but I would prefer not to drink. What are some other ways I can get over my nervousness?
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Answers
Is there a way you can start out slowly? I mean, go somewhere that doesnt serve alcohol, or get a nonalcoholic alternative?
Sometimes, if we take our steps to recovery slower, it may be more agonizing at first, but it is well worth it in the end.
Maybe go to a movie with a friend? Or dinner with friends/family?
What kind of things do you like so much that it might help you get your mind off of being in a social situation that might bother you?
I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM, I HAVE BEEN GOING TO MY DR. FOR A LONG TIME NOW. I AM ON XANAX 1MG. AND CYMBALTA FOR DEPRESSION. I HAVE GONE TO FUNCTIONS AND POURED SWEAT LIKE A FOOL YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN. MY HANDS ALSO SEEM NOT TO DO THE THINGS I WANT THEM TO DO, I GET HOT, I GET NERVOUS, I FEEL CONFUSED AND EVEN TRAPPED, AND THIS IS AT MY OWN RELATIVES HOMES OR PARTIES. I EVEN GET THIS WAY AT MY DAD HOME. IT IS HORRIBLE. I HAVE FOUND THAT IF I USE BIO-FEED BACK, AND BREATHE SLOWER, AND THINK OF COOL PLACES, THINGS, OR HAPPY SITUATIONS I CAN TAKE MYSELF AWAY FROM GETTING SO OUT OF CONTROL AND SWEATING. I INFACT DON'T SPEAK TOO MUCH AT FUNCTIONS AND I ALWAYS CARRY SOME PAPER TOWELS IN MY POCKET TO WIPE MY FOREHEAD. ANOTHER THING THAT HELPS ME IS TO NOT BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION ANYWHERE. THIS IS A HORRIBLE THING TO BE GOING THROUGH. I JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. GBU. TC.
See my recent post on EFT. Good luck...Terry
I agree that small steps are best. Go with one or two friends and go for short periods of time. Can you envision going anyplace for fun? Picturing the place in your mind, and seeing (projecting) good times there can help set it up for you mentally.
If you are invited to a large party, then go early and leave early, or go later on when others won't notice you so much? Usually people freeze up when trying to share things about themselves. Why not up on listening skills? There's rarely a shortage of other people who like to talk about themselves, and they need great listeners! TC