I'm 24 yr old female. 2 years ago i started having crazy thoughts everytime i hear or see horrible events. for exmaple, i hear about a serial kiler, i start obsessing about it and worrying so badly i might become a serial killer, and so on and on. i had many crazy ideas, i would cry, panic, pray, and feel like i'm living in a cloud, but everytime i would over come the idea and it doesn't bother me anymore nor think about it again. the last one i had, was being scared i might get possessed and that was after i saw a horror movie. Now recently, my coleagues at work told me stories about a pedophile that would rape boys and eat them. I panicked that same day. i went home and as usual i started researching the topic and read more horrifying stories (which is a bad idea, since it puts more thoughts in the head) and i had a severe panic attack. I was sick for a week, didn't eat, i was extremely disgusted and couldnt understand y would someone do this. Now everytime i see red meat i remember the stories and i'm extremely scared and terrified that i might become one of those insane people, lose it and end up hurting someone. my relationship with my husband is not too good since the whole thing started and i'm scared to be around him, because i'm scared that i might hurt him in my sleep or something. i realise my thoughts are in my head and they were triggered by what i read and heard, i'm just scared that i might actually start accepting this idea and turn insane. i'm taking celexa 20 mg. people dont see anything wrong with me and work wise and i'm doing really good, it's just when it comes for eating and when i'm alone thats when these thoughts kick in. i'm very scared i dont want to hurt anyone, i cant even watch violent movies. Can someone hurt other people just like that????? can anyone help me ease the pain and eliminate the insane thoughts????
A place to come to ask and answer questions from others on mental health and relationship issues.
Copyright © 1992-2008 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Answers
Violent images, scenes or articles can trigger worrisome thoughts. I'm just confused to what extent those thoughts are normal. Your post made me reflect upon myself. Occasionally I read or think about bad or violent situations and wonder what leads people to doing these things, because I don't know, I often worry that someday I may go crazy and hurt a family member or someone else.
Sometimes I worry that in my sleep anger or frustrations from the day may cause me to subconsciously hurt someone. Is this even possible? I would like to think that I would never hurt someone. I don't get anxious really and I never ever act on my thoughts because I know right from wrong and know the repercussions. I am not seeing a doctor and not on any drugs, as far as I know I am normal... Is this actually a disorder? Or is it normal to project worrisome thoughts and doubt your sanity? Is human thought just complex and easy to project onto our worries and troubling events?
Hi :)
Yes, please see your doc again soon, and let them know about how you are feeling. It is imperative to let your doctor know. They have to tweak and work with people when it comes to medication and psychotherapy, mainly because we are all so individualistic as it is.
Also, Jean's idea of staying off the violence and depressing stuff would be good too.
Best,
Clyde
Hi there. Which ever doctor is prescribing the Celexa should be aware of these thoughts and feelings. If not, please call and schedule and appointment to discuss them.
Since you're already seemingly living "on the edge" I would suggest eliminating all such violence and depressing stuff...and that includes the TV news!
Work on reading good stories, thinking of good and fun stuff, and also finding ways you can help make others happy. Refocus on the good in your life, and when a dark thought tries to enter, tell it "NO!" (It's part of "thought blocking" and works well.)
Good wishes
drjean