I caught my husband masturbating in out toilet one night when I arrived home from work. He was using the Internet with porn sites to I guess stimulate his mind. It's never a problem for me, him surfing all this sites. But lately we never have sex because he was busy with his RC hobbies and I understand that in marriage, sometimes sex and intimacy withers. We are 14years married with 3 kids but we are still both young at heart. I am a very attractive woman with successful career, domesticated and loves to spend my time with him and my kids.
I am a very sexually inclined person and he knew that from the very start of our marriage life. I usually do the initiative for sex but he sometimes show disinterested, so lately I never gave signs of wanting sex anymore. Catching him masturbating with the Internet sex images is something I can't possibly accept, because we are together and we sleep on the same bed every night.
I'm an open-minded person and find it OK to masturbate, only if we are not together...but this?


3585 days ago
Ferrero17, I suppose that you aren't having good communication with him, or you would have tried or at least mentioned that.

No time like the present, to begin talking. Share with him about your concerns, and feeling left out? It could be he is already hooked on the heightened visual excitement (men are visually affected more than women, remember.) It isn't good that he neglects you for this, and I think you have a good reason to discuss this activity.

Good wishes.


3583 days ago
Hi there Ferrero,

I would definitely start by talking to him about it. Men, lots of times, are horrible communicators, especially with social and intimate things.

As Jean said, men are more interested/affected by visual then women are, so he may just be fantasizing about things that you can "change" his mind on.

You need to make sure that you talk to him to help find a way to deal with this. But you must talk to him about it.