I praise God because I am a suicide survivor. I committed suicide by overdosing 5 years ago in May. I have made a long, painful recovery. I look in the mirror and see a completely different woman than who overdosed in a time of complete despair. But it's been 5 years, how long will I grieve on the anniversary or my darkest days? Like clockwork the week leading up to my attempt I become teary, feel intense pain, and an overwhelming sadness...I have so much to live for, I have done so much to change who I am etc.....how long will I grieve?


2519 days ago
Hi cocodreamee - I'm happy you're a survivor and you have so much to live for now. I think the grieving is different and individual for everyone and a therapist could help you with this. Do you have a therapist? I think it's understandable this day would trigger bad memories because it's a significant time where you came close to dying and all the feelings of fear/guilt that come with that. I think talking about it would help but I suppose that's a hard thing to find IRL.

I like to twist things around and look for the positive in a traumatic event - this is the day you survived and started down a better path. Have you worked on forgiving yourself? You can also mark this day as a turning point and all you can do is learn from this experience...how precious life really is. There's an extension of psychentral called Neurotalk and they have a 'survivors of suicide' forum, where people who have lost loved ones or survivors of suicide can support each other. Hopefully you'll find some specific info on surviving this anniversary date. I'm happy you're in a better place now.


2519 days ago
Hi cocodreamee

I am thankful your suicide attempt was not successful and that things are so much better for you

Grief related to traumatic events is something that most people do experience and yes, it can sometimes last a long time. For some, they may experience that twinge of sorrow always when that time comes by.

I hope you will visit that SOS forum that Bella linked for you as they are one of the most caring groups you could ever hope to find, and will be able to give you more insight on this


2517 days ago
you will grieve until you work it out. but don't stop counseling! i lost a friend to suicide this past year. it is horrible for us that are left here. you matter! no matter what you think - you matter in this world! you are never forgotten or not needed. keep on the right track and grieve. we all have pain and depression - it will resurface time to time! that is normal! go with it...stay in therapy!

2516 days ago
There are no time lines for grieving....in anything in life. Stay in therapy, talk, write, etc.....There are some things you don't get over or forget, but live with. you can use what you experienced and what you know, to make a difference in the world in helping others; that way what happened can be turned around (in a sense) and used for something good and positive.

Love, hugs and blessings......I wrote a book, after a lifetime of grieving a lifetime of some terrible things: Sanctuary of the Soul (poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration)...it was my way of turning all of that pain into something positive. (www.soulpoetry.org)