I am self destructing after my son's suicide 5 years ago what can i do. i don't pay my bills i gamble i don't sleep i over eat, i sometimes drink a lot of booze. i gave all my stuff away. i live like a hermit have no friends. i haven't filed taxes since then. it is like i have just made sure that my life is miserable and so screwed up that i will never be able to make things right, how can i get help?


TruthHurts - LiesKill
3268 days ago
You may not get over it, but you dont have to bring yourself down on purpose because of what he did. You didnt do it so dont bring your life down because what he did. Live your life to the fullest, your life is not over yet. there's no reason to sit there and do nothing blaming your self. your just making things worse. try having some fun and controlling yourself have someone by your side to help you out.

3268 days ago

It sounds to me as though you have had trouble grieving for your son and you need some help. If your haven't properly dealt with how feel about your sons suicide then you experienced a complicated form of grief. Which means that life is getting your down and you coping resources are exhausted. It sound a lot like that to me. Perhaps some of the problems you describe were there before your son died and his death has compounded them. It sounds like in some ways your angry, you could be angry with yourself, your son and the world for the situation you now find yourself in. You have outlet to talk about this. Anger can also be a sign of depression and grief.

You clearly need some support to help you get your life back on track. It's not a sign of weakness to reach out and look for support from a professional counselor, or psychologist or therapist. If money is problem there should be a county health clinic that offers free counseling. A doctor can also help you with your drinking, eating and sleeping.

Don't leave it too long to reach out. Do it now!

3268 days ago

I'm sorry you lost your son to suicide. Losing your child is one of the greatest pains, but to know it's suicide makes it a twice as hard. I lost my brother to alcohol poisoning 1 yr. ago so I know the pain except I'm sure your's is harder. Do you think you went through the complete grieving process? If you didn't then this could explain why your life has taken this direction.

Did you have any of these problems before your son's death? I think you should see a therapist to discuss ways to get your life back on track. There are also support groups for parents who have lost their child to suicide. Often there is alot of anger and shame when a loved one commits suicide. I think this would be very helpful for you. You can make your life right again but you're going to have to work on it. Please don't let this ruin your life. I hope everything works out for you. Take care.

3267 days ago
I don't know if you're going to get this, but I'm going to take a shot.

I think you're suffering from a loss of hope. You can't see how your life will get better, and I'm guessing that you don't want to. Perhaps you associate resolving this depression and moving forward with abandoning your son or your son's memory. When you don't have hope, all you see is sadness, and you convert everything around you into a tool for more sadness by using it (taxes, your body, your career) to create more sadness.

The solution would begin by creating an alternative to depression, and an alternative to abandoning your son. You must find a way to honor his memory and keep something with you, while at the same time forgiving yourself for the natural/human mistakes you may have made and making peace with what happened.

A while ago a lady posted here with a similar problem. She couldn't get over her daughter's death. That post and the responses are here: http://answers.psychcentral.com/Depression/how-do-you-let-go/ . Read it and absorb it.

With care,