I have been married for 17 years and suspect my wife of having BPD. She lies often, has an explosive temper, is a compulsive shopper and our sex life is poor (and getting worse). I have stayed with her because we have 2 kids that love her, but I suspect things will get much worse for all if we divorce. Although the arguments and financial issues have been bad, the poor sex life leaves me frustrated and unsupportive. I got her to go to therapy early in our relationship and it helped, but in 1999, I found out she had herpes and it devestated what little we had. She proved to me that she got it before we married, but it has been difficult to get over the fact she hid it from me for so long and we now add this to a long list of other problems. Any suggestions would be appreciated.


2812 days ago
Is she still in therapy and on medications? if not, that may be the first step to helping her, and so hopefully salvaging your marriage.

BPD is one of those mental health conditions that really cannot be managed without proper treatment, and that usually involves a combination of meds and psychotherapy

2803 days ago
So, is it that there isn't enough sex for you that's the real motivation to divorce? Or, that she's mentally ill? If she has BPD, she should be in regular treatment.

Everyone deals with financial strain/decisions, sex issues, etc. at some point in their marriage.