I am a very introvet person and i feel its a problem. I like to be alone most of the time and im always quiet, but the thing is i want to be more outgoing and talkative and entergetic because im always in one tone. Im not a loud person and nor do i want to be, but i want people to acutualy notice me and not for just being the quiet girl. I often wonder is it genetic but my mother was the same way so maybe it is. Sometime i just don't have anything to say and people think im stuck up or shy but im neither. This is something that i really want to overcome because i've been dealing with it for a long time now i think my life would be better and i would be much happier if i overcome this.


3267 days ago
I think if you are naturally an introvert it will take a lot of energy to become extroverted, but you can always try- maybe look at wearing some bright coloured and trendy clothes, and when you see another person, just instantly strike up a conversation. You don't have to say anything exciting, instead focus on asking them about their opinion, what they've been doing etc- people love to talk about themselves. Maybe take up a hobby that gets you into the spotlight more eg. drama class, public speaking, singing etc, then you will easily be noticed. Honestly though after years of being an introvert myself I can tell you it is hard to change, so better to try and accept yourself the way you are and find people who appreciate your quiet calm manner instead.

3267 days ago

misse is right that, it's okay to be introverted. I am also an introverted person and was painfully shy until I was 22 yrs. I was also very unhappy being shy and I slowly learned to manage it.

Since you're unhappy with the limitations of being introverted, then you can learn techniques to manage it. Now you can't go from being intoverted to extroverted but you can adapt yourself to be somewhere in between the two. There are many famous people/performers who are by nature introverted yet appear very outgoing on stage. Since you're not shy, then it will be easier for you. I can relate that people used to think I was shy and stuck up too.

The first post gave some good suggestions on how to get more in the spotlight. I also think as you get older your confidence will grow. Best of luck :)

3267 days ago
I don't think introversion is really the problem. Introverted people can muster a lot of power, empathy, and focus and often have lots of great insights. Also, I think deep connections with people are usually formed in moments of listening, which I think is of as an avenue of introversion. I know because *pause* I. AM. AN. INTROVERT. LOL

Introverts don't have to stay quiet all the time, they just need meaningful interaction. You can get that by using your insights and depth to create some interest about you. You can captivate people and interact with them while preserving your self-connected introversion by practicing a little healthy ATTITUDE. You can learn that attitude from watching others INTROVERT with attitude, or even reading what INTROVERTS with attitude say. It'll happen naturally. I've done it myself. You could look to friends, comedians, movies, or just watch strangers work their magic.

G'luck! Have fun.

3265 days ago
Oh dear thisisme20.

You want to learn to love your introversion preference.

First, we are hard wired in our brain - either we prefer introversion or we prefer extroversion. It really is physically impossible to become one way or the other. As your intuition here spoke that your mother was that way too, you know, it is something we are born with.

Second, we - introverts - can learn some of the social skills and more importantly we can add our strengths to the mix. We are excellent listeners, we are naturally more curious and we can take a topic to depths where many extroverts would be astonished with.

Third, some quick tips:

1- When you know you are going to a function, personal or business, think about the people who you know will be there. Come up with some questions to ask that you KNOW would have their interest. This is not only going to allow you to be able to easily engage people in conversation it will (you have to trust me on this) have people flocking to you. As someone else here said, people love talking about themselves.

2 - Plan breaks for yourself before, during and after any kind of extroverting event. The ONLY thing that we cannot do as introverts, is extrovert all day long. When you know you have an event where you will be engaging in conversation, plan to have some kind of introverting activity before you go - maybe reading for about 20 minutes or some gardening, something that allows you to charge up. Then DURING the event, be in tune to when you start to feel stressed or run-down. Just excuse yourself - get to a quiet place like a restroom! By yourself! Then go back into the conversation. And, when home, plan some quiet time.

3- Acknowledge that introversion is an excellent preference: we take time to think before we speak for example. THINK of how wonderful it would be if we all did this more often. We often plan before we act, preserving our energy. We listen well to others rather than immediately start talking about ourselves and in that process, the other person is feeling great - particularly when they are an extrovert.

Do visit my blog where I have over a hundred posts about the introvert.

Most important, introverts are wonderful and bring balance to the extrovert side.

Patricia Weber

Blogging Business Sales Ideas for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant


3265 days ago
Oops. Just so you know, I'm an INTJ in Meyers Briggs talk. Introvert - intuitive - thinking - judging. Less than 1% of the population is that.

Patricia Weber

3265 days ago

Good post Pat

3252 days ago
And there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, either. Of course, there is always a need to exert ones thoughts or feelings or needs to others...I really do like what the others have stated.

Take it slowly, but try to build up your voice. It will come!



3251 days ago

You may be interested in this ebook. Thinking about buying it myself. I'm 40 yr. old female who is an introvert. I look like I'm in the popular group around town, but I'm not. Tired of being alone and want to fit in. I understand your post completely!