I am a 29 year old male in a committed relationship with a beautiful 21 year old woman. We have a ball together. We have such strong love for each other and it's been a great 4 years.

Recently, within the past few years, the sex has been tapering off. We used to have sex constantly and she was open and willing to try things which kept things very interesting. She was on Seasonique and we used to have sex regularly without worrying about periods and whatnot.

My girlfriend is finishing up college and she is an actress and works a part time job very early in the mornings. I am so proud of her for doing this; however her schedule is crazy. We had sex in August and when it came time for her period it was late. It was late for almost a full month until it finally came. It turns out that since she has been messing with her sleep schedule and has been stressing out, it delayed her cycle. I have to admit that this was a hard time to get through, but we did and that was that.

She proceeds to tell me a few weeks ago that since her schedule hasn't changed, her period was going to be late again and instead of agonizing over the possibility of being pregnant (even after taking pregnancy tests) she would rather not have sex until after her next period. She then said that she would go back on the pill.

I am going crazy over this. Before I dated my current girlfriend, I was in a relationship for 3 years and then married for another three and that was a severely sexless marriage. Now, I'm going through it all again. People in their twenties should be freely having sex and I resort to cuddling on the couch, and being romantic without any sort of physicality.

I know for a FACT that she isn't cheating on me and I am not cheating on her, but I have to tell you it's getting increasingly hard to stay completely faithful. I haven't strayed but I'm really getting frustrated. I don't know what to do and it's giving me anxiety attacks!!

How do I approach the subject with her? Everytime I try to she thinks I am trying to make her feel bad. I just can't continue on like this. I love and crave my girlfriend and I just need to find a solution to this.


2657 days ago

this is a very difficult situation you are in and you are to be commended for being so very understanding!

Have you tried suggesting that to be double protected, you could also use a condom? I understand her anxiety but she also does need to consider your very normal needs and desire for her. On the other hand, it sounds like she is saying that she is willing to resume your physical relationship after she gets her next period, so likely within a month? So this is not some indefinite hold on sex and, hard as it is, perhaps you can stay supportive until then?

The one thing that concerns me is your thoughts of being unfaithful. There are varied reasons that crop up in life that interfere with normal sexual function, and so I hope you will be able to deal with this one without resorting to cheating. Have you tried asking her to help you have orgasm without intercourse? Both of you should be able to find pleasure in each other that way, without any fear of a pregnancy.

I hope things work out.

2657 days ago
Stress can Medicaly mess one up. Counseling and Regualr Medical care may help your situation. It would be adviseable that you both seek counseling together, and each of you have Medical Check up.