From a psychology standpoint I was wondering how healthy therapists think that a D/s Lifestyle is? Like any relationship it can have it's abusive factors, but those aside. If it's between two caring, consensual adults do therapists think that it's a paticuarly unhealthy relationship for any specific reasons?


3342 days ago
I'm not a therapist, but I think the label itself is meaningless. If the people are playing out roles because they have unresolved issues and are, deep down, suffering with harassing ideas about their self worth (or something like that), then it becomes like any dysfunction: not a problem for me, but if the person wants help, help them get it.

If, on the other hand, the parties are using the dynamic for fun or for spirituality, or for some other reasons...go for it.

3339 days ago
To me, it would definitely depend on how people feel about it who are involved in it.

For instance, if the s feels bad about it and wants to get out, then that is bad. If the d wants to get out of it, than that is bad as well.

It, to me, while not likable in my opinion, depends on whether the two of you are adults and if neither of you are hurt by the relationship.



3113 days ago
Wow. I am so sorry. Most people that dont live the lifestyle and dont accept it on any level will give you the first answer you received. I am an active member of this lifestyle and do not mind telling you that I am a sub. Being a sub does not mean being a doormat! No one ever has the right to abuse you regardless of whether it is consensual or not.

To the second post, where I applaud you for not saying its bad because its not just for you, D/s relationships dont work out for the same reasons any other relationships dont work it. It doesnt mean that theres something bad, just wrong.

Im going to shoot myself in the foot here and tell you that I am in therapy and since this lifestyle is a huge part of my life, it is something that is brought up often. The definition for abuse id quite broad, though others would say otherwise. The one that most get hung up on is the term "Harmful." What is harmful to one person is not harmful to another. So asking if its unhealthy would really depend on YOU. Only you can determine what is unhealthy for you.

Submission is a gift. When I sit at my significant others feet, i am putting myself lower than Him, not because i feel that I am less than He is, but that is where I am most comfortable. I am self dependent. I am strong. I am very much aware of who and what I am. Just because I put myself lower than one man does not mean that its harmful. Now for others, yes, it maybe harmful.

The biggest thing you need to keep in mind is every D/s relationship IS DIFFERENT. Just like every person is different and has different needs as well as having every relationship be different.

So is it unhealthy? I say it's as unhealthy as you can make any relationship.

3096 days ago
I have a Journal of my exploration into the domination submission world of D/s and how I struggle between my submissive heart and my logical feminist mind that tells me submission is wrong while my body and heart tell me it is sooooh right!

I do not think it is unhealthy...please follow me

2554 days ago
The lovely propaganda of the D/s community is just that, propaganda.

as a game... maybe its just that a game.. as a life style.. its a debilitating one.. think co-dependence on steroids and crack.

Read their lit.. on "training" a better example of operant conditioning would be hard to find.. cause pain.. to give love..

" As a stern and demanding Dominant, he can cause his sub to cry real tears. As the consummate lover, he will then kiss the tears away, without ever stepping out of character." what utter clap trap.

and that is a BEST case scenario from one of their "guides" to being a "good Dominant"

With that as part of D/s "the best of all possible worlds" can any one think it very healthy ?

The above answer that includes "No one ever has the right to abuse you regardless of whether it is consensual or not." is quite enlightening.. does the word consensual have a meaning other than giving consent ?

Maybe its semantics.. if you consent.. the by definition is not abuse ? of course that makes the statement even more problematic.