I am about 12 years old. I live with both of my parents and I have two sisters. One of my sisters has mental retardation and everyday I hear people calling me retard, tard, retarded, ect. I hear the word every where and now I am playing with knifes, needles, and sissors. I am letting my cat scratch me for fun and I want to kill myself. I love God, but I just dont know how to handle my feelings. I have been acting out evryday and all of my family thinks that I am someone that everybody hates and they are surprised that I have friends. I have been depressed for about a year right after I broke up with my boyfriend. I just lost a lot of my friends for the way I am acting. I have been friends with this one girl siecne 1st grade. And now I want her to die! Her mom sent me a message on facebook saying things like she is worried about me and I am a mean girl. I have been gettin grounded repeatedly and I told my parents I hope they burn in hell. I use bad words. I am always really mad and I dont know why. I am way to scared to tell anyone about my depression, but I told my cuzin witch is also depressed. I only told my boyfriend, friend, and her. I need some help so I need to know how can I tell my mom. I am worried that she will just yell at me and be like Celeste you're over reacting! I had a boyfriend that told me to take pictures of my boobs and stuff. Never did. He hates me and still askes me to. I used to respect myself and my body and now I hate my self. I never feel like going anywhere or doing anything anymore. I take a lot of quizs and they all say I am very depressed. I have zits and get made fun of because of it. I get mad when people call me skinny or pretty because I know I am not. My mom never takes my seriously and I am always a joke. I want to kill myself all the time and hurt myself a lot. Please help me find the motavation and help me to find a way to tell my mom. I dont want to give her a lecture. I try to brake my ankles but it never works. Please help me be my happy old self! And find a way to tell my mom.


2831 days ago
Hi celesteJJ,

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I think you just have to be honest and tell her how bad you're feeling. If she doesn't believe you, then you need to tell her you've contemplated self injury. If this doesn't work, you would need to get another trusted family member like an aunt involved. If that plan fails, there's always a school counselor, when you go back to school. I'm sure your parents have to focus much of their attention of your other sister, but it's important they attend to you also.

I have 2 girls 12 and 8 - it really is difficult with some kids who are mean. Sometimes ignoring works and other times you have to stick up for yourself. Regarding Facebook - stay away from negative contacts and that mother has no right to be talking to you. I've noticed that Facebook often is used for bullying. Learn how to set up privacy settings and blocking contacts

Good for you for not sending bad pictures of yourself to your BF. Some people don't realize nude pictures can last forever and end up in anyone's hands, even on the internet. This is a tough time, but you need to remember, this won't last forever. You can learn to be strong and you can get through this.

2831 days ago
Hi Celeste

Bella has given you good advice.

just let your mom know you need to have a private talk with her and maybe try for the two of you to have some alone time and then just try to be as calm as you can and tell her what has been happening. let her know you are concerned you may hurt yourself and that you really feel you need to see someone who can help you find better ways to cope than this.

I am glad you love God and please know that nomatter how bad things seem, He loves you too! remember you can talk to him honestly too, even write letters to Him in a notebook if that may help you release the feelings better than speaking words. This may also help you realize what you need to say to your mom.

I hope you will find the right words to let her know what is happening and that you will soon be feeling much better