When I first retained in 1st grade I was so embarrass . The kids would say " she's so stupid . Isn't she suppose to be in 2nd grade ? Well that same year I had the same 1st grade class with my sis .Couple yrs later in 4 th grade I retained again. The reason for that was when I needed help I never asked for help and I was very shy . During that time I was embarrass again . I was so tired of it because it happened twice . I didn't really cared about it because the students were nice and stuff . During 5&6 I started hitting myself and calling myself names because it really hurt & like every time I might not know something I always think about being retained again . Also durning 7&8 it was tuff . I felt so dumb . I kept getting low grades in math ; I really hate math . All I would get is 50's & Lower . Now my freshman year now I was going to a home school school . It was this boy , my sister & i . I felt good in the class because it was one on one and I had time to do my work & I felt comfortable asking the teacher for Help . Couple months later my mother took me out of the program and put me in a regular high school . It wassup difficult . Durning my 9 grade yr I had 8 classes & I passed 3 . Now I'm in 9th grade again . I cry all the time . Anytime I take a shower I do stupid stuff . I try drinking proactive & other stuff . I've hit my head so many times I forget the simply of things . I was talking o my friend on my cell phone & I was like " where is my cellphone ?" I forgot is talking to my friend on it durning that whole time . People don't feel my pain . They all think I don't have problem's . . What should I do ?