This is difficult for me to explain, and normally I never tell people what goes on in my head, but this is really starting to scare me.

About a month ago I started feeling like my soul, or whatever it is that makes me who I am, was shrinking. I feel less like myself each day. I can't sleep because i'm petrified that i'm going to lose myself.

Since it started I keep going silent randomly, for example, the other day my boyfriend asked me if I wanted a drink and I just stared at him, completely unable to answer. He's picked up on it, and jokes by calling me Charlie Chaplin, I haven't found a way to tell him how i'm feeling yet. I don't think anyone has noticed a change in me, but I definately feel different.

When I was 12 I started feeling depressed, I was a self harmer and I attempted suicide at 15. After that I got help, and was seemingly fine and normal. Im now 19, and i've never felt this disappearing feeling before. I have no concentration, no appetite. I'm normally a bubbly, smiley person and now I feel like I have to force a fake grin to make people think there's nothing wrong with me.

The disappearing sensation occurs most of the day, but there are periods where it is almost unbearable. Last night I was too scared to sleep, and I was calling people all night and morning just to feel like I was still there.

I realise that my depression has probably come back, I have noticed the general symptoms (lack of appetite/concentration/sleep, no energy, crying). But I don't see how depression could be causing me to feel like im going to vanish one day soon.

Any ideas would be great :)


2740 days ago
Hi Lunen

sorry you are going through these symptoms.

It may be wise to return to therapy so that you can get things stabilized as soon as possible. Also a good idea to see the doctor for a check up to make sure all is ok, especially your hormone levels, as if those are off balance it can really mess with your mind as well as your body.

Even if you have no appetite, still try to eat healthy foods and get some exercise as again, this can help your mood.

Fruit like cantaloupe and fresh limes are high in inositol, and that can really assist with depression as it helps with the serotonin levels in the brain.

I hope you will soon be feeling much better

2151 days ago
I have the exact same problems and i'm going to post a new question here. Do you still have these symptoms or are they better now?