My father is a very controlling person, he sent me to the country that he was from since i was a young girl in hopes of me marrying a person from the same culture background as his. He is verbally abusive and the way he yells at me sometimes makes me have suicidal thoughts. I am unfortunately interested in the same business that he is in and now he wants me to work for him. He yells and threatens to hit me if I don't. I am a very hard working person but all i can see is him sucking the life out of me..... and me never ever having a life or being able to get married because he is waay too controlling and in the end i feel as if he just raised his personal slaves. And it feels weird because how do you say no to your father? He tries to make me feel guilty on any occasion that I don't help him more with his business, but i could clearly see why nobody is really willing to help him. If you are verbally abusive and love yelling at people, who would want to give it their all? Nobody! People want respect. And my parents favor my brother more than me because he is a guy and he knows how to throw me under the bus to make himself look good, he is also verbally abusive and really mean to me, always telling me i will always be a failure and nothing good will ever happen to me..... i just really need advice, do i just give in and let these people control me for the rest of my life let alone abuse me? Because he makes me feel guilty? Should i think its an opportunity of a lifetime though i know for sure i won't be happy? I really don't know what to do, just too much abuse, can't take it anymore!


2665 days ago
Hi chrisi,

how old are you? If you can't stand working with your father, then you should work some where else. What does your mother say about the way he treats you? You're right, he won't get devoted employees by bullying them. He would be more successful if he adopted a kinder approach. Happy employees make for a productive work place.

I think you should work on making yourself strong - meaning have a good education background so you can become independent from your fathers business. You may have to be assertive and even put some distance between you and your father but only if you can survive on your own financially. It would be very difficult to change a bully.

2664 days ago
Dear Bella,

Hello, thank you so much for giving me a prompt answer, I am currently 25 years old almost graduating from school, thank you so much for you advice, I will follow your advice and make the best of it!

2664 days ago
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