Ok... so here is the situation

My sister had a disagreement with our mother. Hurtful things were said, both over reacted. Then friends of my sister became involved. Long story short it resulted in assault charges on my mom filed by my sister’s friend. This coming after verbal insults was tossed towards my mother. Apparently I have heard multiple sides of the story; from my mom, from my brother (who heard it from my sister), from my father, even my sister. No one seems to be on the same page but my mom and dad. In fact the story my sister told me wasn’t the same she told my brother. Now according to my parents they refused to let my sister drive being so upset with her children in the car and wanted her to calm down first. According to my sister my parents we abusing her, her children and holding them hostage.

Anyways she finally left with her friends. Now the couple she lives with I don’t trust. First off they seem to be controlling her every actions although my sister would say they are not. During the time period this all happened my sister was acting all depressed, and I almost expected a suicide threat from her because of it. But her roommates insisted she has never been happier. In fact she lived in constant fear of her family growing up. Funny I don’t remember all of this at all. Yeah we had strict parents but hearing that she was never allowed to have friends over or do anything. Well I know that’s not true. She was more sociable then I was. Now she is going around stating that her parents abused her children. Which was funny because when I saw them at my wedding my nieces were healthy and in good spirits. Plus not terrified of my mother as my sister insisted they were.

Ok now according to my mother before this all happened the husband of the lady my sister lives with had “gotten into the bath tub” with the eldest of my nieces (she is six) not sure if he has shorts on or not but to me, well that’s just wrong. This man is a former Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer with a criminal record for fraud, and theft. I have been told he carries around a large knife at all times as well. He is on medication for mental illnesses and has financial problems. Could he be using my sister for some reason? Is this why they seem to have such a hold upon her?

Now here is the latest. Apparently my sister has asked me to pick between her or the rest of the family. I live almost on the other side of the country from the,. Canada is a big place. I rarely see anyone as it is. What am I to do. I am seriously beside myself when it comes to this situation. She has already cut ties to all her friends except those she lives with because they refuse to pick sides.

This is not the girl I grew up with. I am scared for her and want to help her but feel that I can do nothing. I don’t even think she realizes the situation she is in. I wish she would come her, get herself away from everything going on and get a fresh start on life. There is a support system here in place or friends, and family. All who have not been involved with what had happened. She could get her life on track and way from these people but she well... wants to be with the people she lives with.

They have stolen my sister and changed her. I want her back. Help!


3020 days ago

as your sister is an adult, apart from trying to reason with her, there isnt much you can do

however, if her children are at risk in ANY way, you may need to contact child protective services. The risk there is that they may be taken into foster care, unless another family member is willing and able to care for them.

Remember too that you are only hearing your mother's side of things...for example, how would she know that this man got into the tub with the child? Does she go to their home? or did your sister tell her? Did your sister personally ask you to pick between her and the rest of the family, or did your mother tell you this?

I realize you are worried about your sister, but sometimes in family situations like this it is best to just stay neutral. If the children are truly at risk for sexual or physical abuse, then take action. But in terms of your sister, just try to be a friend to her and hopefully she will open up to you if something is wrong

3020 days ago
Great advice from Chemar. This is a very complicated story and it's difficult to give advice from our angle. I agree you should try to stay neutral - this way you can be supportive to your mom and sister. You can tell them both that you love them and don't wish to take sides. Tell your sister that you love her and will be there if she needs you and you would like to stay in touch with the children. This way you can keep an eye on them, to know they're safe. It's always best to be diplomatic and not side with either one. Best of luck, Bella.

3020 days ago

perhaps your right though I think I might talk to social services to investigate the situation for the children regardless.